Antje (dieastra) wrote,

There’s room even in the smallest hut (English translation)

This is the English translation of my German poem. Sadly I was not able to make it rhyme, so it is just the literal translation. But I wanted my international friends to be able to read the funny story about the Torchwood team celebrating Christmas. German friends, please read the original poem here: Platz ist in der kleinsten Hütte – Deutsches Gedicht

There’s room even in the smallest hut

Part 1 – The planning

Ianto, Gwen, Tosh and Jack at the breakfast table
they’re very hungry and delve in.
Usually at this time of the day,
they talk about all kind of important things.

Today it’s only one thing:
soon the year will be ending.
So, without much ado –
where to celebrate Christmas this time?

“Since I’m a corpse,
I don’t like celebrations anymore!”
says Owen and starts to pout.
The others are not sure what to say.

”And why do you look at me?
I did it last year!”
says Tosh and takes another bite
of her marmalade toast.

Jack also just shrugs,
he doesn’t even have a room.
Just a dark hole in the ground,
surely the others understand that?

“How about Rhys and me then?”
But nobody dares to tell her
that they never really liked
what Gwen has cooked for them.

So everyone puts their hopes
onto Ianto and his kitchen talents.
Jack starts to grin
as he imagines something:

He never saw Ianto in an apron,
that’s an erotical phantasy!
He should do something about it
everyone needs new clothes from time to time.

Tomorrow he will go
and buy such an outfit for Ianto.
When he’ll open the package,
surely both of them will be naked soon!


Part 2 – The preparation

Tomorrow the celebration shall start.
Ianto buys lots of food.
Fruits, vegetables, even ice-cream,
and plumpudding, everyone likes that.

The turkey has been cooked already,
he’ll save some work that way.
Spices also and many drinks,
hopefully he doesn’t forget anything.

At home chaos is waiting.
He’d rather be in Laos at the moment.
Floods at the seventh floor?
That’s a real shock.

A burst waterpipe, everything’s wet,
it will be no fun celebrating here!
He actually wants to cry,
here in his wet flat.

But he won’t call it off.
The team has to catch Weevils day and night,
they shall have a few hours of fun,
before they have to go back to work.

But where to go? It’s almost six
and almost jinxed.
Wherever he wants to go
all pubs are booked to the last place.

Then he has the solution:
How about the tourism center?
Maybe it’s a bit small,
but surely they’ll all fit in there.

He takes out the postcard stand,
immediately the room looks bigger than before.
Because there’s no room for the Christmas tree,
it’s hanging from the ceiling actually.

He’d seen that in the cinema once
and always liked it.
Grandmother’s decorations look very good,
Ianto lightens the candles.

The counter becomes the buffet,
it’s actually looking nice!
And at the window, behind the curtain
he puts the coffee machine.

Garlands everywhere in the room,
you can’t actually see the ceiling anymore.
Up and down Ianto goes on the ladder
then he continues with the walls.

Golden angels look very nice,
it’s a bit kitschy but who cares.
Once the candles are glowing,
all hearts will open wide.

Finally some mistle toe into the corners
At Christmas love needs to be celebrated!
He hopes, he can’t deny it,
to get a kiss from Jack.

Finally he looks over his work
and nods satisfied.
Cardiff won’t know what hit them,
this celebration will become history!


Part 3 – The celebration

Owen has come after all,
he does not want to miss this weird celebration.
Gwen and Tosh are astonished because overnight
Ianto has done wonders to the place.

There is even a stuffed
Myfanwy sitting in the corner.
Jack is last – they thought,
when the gong at the door goes ding-dong.

In comes Martha
and she also has Mickey with her.
They open the bottles and raise the glasses,
today they just want to have fun.

Everyone brought gifts,
which get to be opened now.
Everywhere you hear delight
because of those wonderful things.

Ianto is happy that everything goes well,
but himself he is not at ease.
He has thought of something
which surely will please Jack very much.

Jack had too many egg-noggs,
he starts to see double and triple.
Again the door bell rings.
Who is it this time?

As Andy is standing in front of the door,
Jack actually sees four police men.
“Someone called me because of loud noise,
so I came to have a look!”

Says Andy and looks around.
“What are you doing here that late at night?
I heard you from far away already,
it sounds like an alien invasion!”

They coerce him to sit down.
Cardiff can look after itself.
Slowly the room gets fuller,
but everyone actually likes it.

Later this evening,
another guest arrives.
Gwen told Rhys to get her at ten
because she also can’t walk straight anymore.

But before she gets into his car,
she wants to show him everything first.
Ianto gives him a big beer,
ah well, surely he can stay for an hour.

It couldn’t actually be nicer,
now it starts to snow.
Snowflakes are dancing in the air,
street lamps shine brightly.

Ianto looks at the clock desperatedly,
for hours he has been squirming.
He’d borrowed Martha’s telephone
and arranged a surprise.

But the surprise hasn’t arrived yet,
he really should have come by now.
While everyone is merry and loud,
Jack suddenly looks down quietly.

He thinks about all the loved ones
he already has lost in his life.
Living forever is actually no fun,
you only can make the best of it.

And spend time with friends, like right now
for a few nice hours,
before the next day
another disaster strikes.

For a moment it’s very quiet.
Nobody wants to say anything.
While Ianto is putting the dishes away,
Jack suddenly looks up and say dreamingly:

“If I am not mistaken,
I hear a familiar sound outside!”
The others look at each other amused.
How fast Jack is running!

Then they leave everything
because they don’t want to miss that.
It sounded like an UFO but instead
it was a blue telephone box.

In front a man whose coat blows in the wind
and who is tackled by Jack in a hug now.
Tosh giggles and nudges Gwen,
she likes this foreign man.

Brown hair, brown eyes,
he looks very good.
And for his smile
he actually needs a license!

”The Doctor, the Doctor!” everyone wispers.
Jack confirms it.
Then he gives Ianto a kiss
so he doesn’t need to say anything.

The Doctor shakes all their hands,
some he recognizes immediately.
“Martha, and also Mickey!
How are you?”

Jack never would have guessed
to get such a nice gift.
Ianto is the best
and now they have space for celebrating!

So they take all their food
and go to the Doctor’s place.
Only Rhys wonders before the door:
“Into this little box?!?

I actually liked the tourism center.
What has gotten into you all?
But once he steps through the door,
his chin drops.

Who would’ve thought
how big it’s inside!
Inside big and outside small –
there’s room even in the smallest hut!

The End

Tweeted at 16.12.2013:

Also published at

Also published at AO3:
Tags: christmas, doctor who, fic, torchwood

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